tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30498620634302962812024-03-13T10:04:52.990-07:00RE.VEAL.EDSynonyms: Reveal, Disclose, Publish.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05301907148972348175noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3049862063430296281.post-47283404971273470962012-07-25T22:33:00.002-07:002012-11-19T12:40:02.858-08:00FAIRY TALES<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;">The thing is, I still feel about fairy tales the same way I felt about it years ago: they are all a bunch of horse sh*t. I did not then nor do I now want for my kids to believe that all men are Prince Charming. Nor do I want them to believe that even though he looks like a beast <i>(Beauty and the Beast)</i> he really isn't because true love will turn him into a handsome Prince. And what about the story of <i>Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs,</i><b> </b>excuse my french, but who the hell thought a white girl waking up in a house owned by seven midgets while fussing and cleaning after them was equivalent to a fulfilling life. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;">So why so critical, you ask? Well, let me tell you what you will not find in the fairy tale books or movies. In reality there is no such thing as happily ever after. The part about Prince meet girl, fall madly in love and they live happily ever after is really like I said, horse sh*t. Somewhere in that <i>Cinderella</i> story should have been the ever after part: Prince Charming loses his crown because the Royal family disowned him for marrying below his station. As a result they end up living in an old shack with little to no furniture, not to mention he can't find a job because no one will hire him since he really does not have any real skills. Meanwhile, they are eating dry bread every night. Pretty soon she is picking up his dirty socks off the floor because he is not house trained thanks to all the maids he had to pick up after his lazy a**. Before long Cinderella is crying herself to sleep every night because her friends warned her that he was really a loser without his crown to lean on,(also known as his mamma's money) but she did not listen... I can go on and on, but I get the feeling you get where I am going with my story. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Granted I am bad mouthing stories that are by all accounts fictional, but I could not help adding my own little fictional twist. It is a reminder that not all relationships are always sugar and spice, especially when it comes to the matter of the heart. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> It is true I have been </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">in some questionable <strike>relationships</strike> situations, like the one who would not commit and thought I would be satisfied with just being his </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; line-height: 19px;"><a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/thesaurus.php?term=side+girl" style="color: #0e426c; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">side girl</a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #0e426c;">,</span> and it took me too long to realize he was a dog. And the one who snuck me into his house via the back door because his mother was sleeping, and again it took me too long to come to the conclusion that three is a crowd. Last, was the one who I dated for some weeks, but broke up with over the phone after I accepted a collected call from him from Rikers Correctional Facility. I later found out he had a pending case against him for laundering money for his cousin who lived in Jamaica. Rest assure</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; line-height: 19px;"> I will not be telling my children those stories any time soon. laugh out loud! </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;">Believe me, I know what you are thinking. You are thinking that only children believe in fairy tales and that once we become adults we no longer believe in such things. That may be true for some, but sadly there are still a few of us (and I am not discounting myself) who for some reason believe someday we will find our Prince Charming and live happily ever after. </span><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05301907148972348175noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3049862063430296281.post-53135644900563951062012-06-27T05:11:00.001-07:002012-11-19T13:52:59.702-08:00I HAVE LEARNED NOTHING<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">For years I have been talking about relationships. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">All type of relationships, especially the type </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">between a man and a woman. Finally I realized no m</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">atter how much you think you want it, need it and just got to have it, you can always live without it. In other words, relationships are not always what they crack up to be. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Of course when you fall in love - I encourage it, because the feeling is unlike any other - you are optimistic that both parties will benefit greatly from it. It feels like a journey that ultimately will lead to something greater. So you open your heart and hope for the best. While at the same time, being mindful of the fact that the only difference between this journey and so many others you have been on is: you don't have a map. A map to tell you when you are lost and in need of direction, a change in direction or just forget the whole thing, and start over.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I am no expert, and I don't claim to be, but in my experience I have learned we tend to repeat ourselves. We repeat patterns because they are familiar and we think we know what to expect. Of course it's always surprising when we find out that's not always the case. Personally, I have been in alot of relationships, some long and some short, and I am embarrassed to admit that I have learned nothing from them. Well not nothing, but certainly not enough to keep me from repeating the same mistakes. Now, I realized we all make mistakes and I am old enough to know that it's not the mistakes that hurt more, but rather the novel idea that we should have known better. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">After all, weren't all the signs there? Like the lies, the name calling, and the strange cases of Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde episodes. As for me, it's more about giving it all I have and not giving up too soon. Not because I am one of those women with daddy issues, on the contrary I love my father and he is a great father, however I have accepted the fact that he is not an exemplary (to my mother's demise) husband material. He is just my dad! And therefore I am not looking to him to set the bar. Of course to a certain degree.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The funny thing is, knowing what you don't want doesn't always translate into knowing what you do want. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I am the first to admit that when it comes to men I have drank from the "stupid" kool-aid, but luckily I usually recognize a bad romance before it's too late. Unless the stubborn bull in me refuses to let go and hold on for way too long. What is the saying? It feels so wrong, it has to be good? Or is it the other way around? But which ever way the saying goes, if it's too good to be true it is probably too good to be true. </span><br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05301907148972348175noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3049862063430296281.post-61472741740701309642012-05-31T02:16:00.001-07:002012-11-20T16:51:21.257-08:00NOT MY FIRST RODEO<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;">There is a movie that came out in theatre recently called, <i>What to Expect When You're Expecting,</i> that I am planning on watching on bootleg. Why? Because like many people I like to be told or at least reminded of things I already know. Mainly that having a baby is not always what it cracks up to be. Especially since I just spent nine months bitching and moaning about how much fun I was not having pregnant for the LAST time! More importantly I am hoping the movie reveal something new I don't already know. Funny, I Know! But stay with me, I am going somewhere with this. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;">By the way, I have the book by the same name, and truth is it just collected dust somewhere in my house for years. I never even browsed through it. when I had a question I would ask my Mom or learn by trial and error. In fact over the years I even had a name for my parenting style. I called it: "improvised parenting." In other words, if it works, great! If it doesn't, well, there is always therapy (?). And my other favorite name was:"parenting by proxy." </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;">Translation: make sure your kids have great godparents for when you just need to go out and get drunk. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;">Traditionally, when we talk about having babies we get suck into the idea that it's as simple as baking a cake. Just add water, put it in the oven for thirty minutes and viola! Indeed, if I was still in my twenties and just plain stupid this redonculousness (made up word) analogy might have made <strike>no</strike> sense. More so, if I was one of the teenagers portray on the MTV's <strike>dumb</strike> hit series <i>Sixteen and Pregnant<b>. </b></i>I do not know much, but I know this much is true: having a baby or raising a kid is like being in a foreign country. You don't speak the language, and the words that you do know doesn't make any sense. In other words, you really don't know what the french you are doing. And the fact that it's not your first rodeo does not mean squat. The only thing you know for certain is that all pregnancies,babies and kids are different.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;">Nevertheless, I am crossing my fingers and hoping this movie will not only entertain me, but also make me feel better about all the mistakes I made as a parent past and present. More specifically, I am hoping this movie will help me feel better about falling asleep from exhaustion while feeding my baby and woke up to find her drenched in baby milk. And sometimes I let her cry in her crib because I can't feel my right arm from carrying her and walking back and forth like a zombie. Also, it's okay that I smell like pee and poop because most days I don't make it to the showers. Last, that my house is not fit for company since I have not cleaned it in months, because I just don't have the energy. But in spite of all that, I find it all worth it. Especially since every now and then I get a gassy smile that tugs straight at my heart and make me extremely happy. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;">On the whole I am hoping this movie doesn't try to shove down my throat the stereo-typical crap that most people like to buy into about having babies and or parenting. </span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05301907148972348175noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3049862063430296281.post-21105722994692549132012-01-04T11:08:00.000-08:002012-11-20T15:08:39.454-08:00EXPECTING!<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Naturally after having my last two kids who are now teenagers, I always said to people (who thought I was crazy for even thinking it) that I wanted to have another baby. So this summer when I discovered I was having another baby because I finally found a good man, I quickly realized that I was full of sh*t. Now don't get me wrong, babies are great,but they are even better when you are in your twenties. Otherwise when you are in your thirties (like me) being pregnant feels more like being tortured for nine months. If I had my way, I would have skipped the whole pregnancy part and jump to the labor part. Can you say epidural? </span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Although I have been pregnant before, and I knew exactly what I was getting myself into, but for some reason there were certain things that had been erased from my memory bank about pregnancy. The first three months (the first trimester) felt like a real horrible scary movie. As a result, I started calling the baby "Chucky," because I felt like the little monster was purposely trying to drive me insane. My daily routine consisted of throwing up, and eating things like plain bread or nachos dip in hot sauce. More throw up, crying and wishing I was dead. I could not keep anything in my stomach for too long. In fact if I smelled it before I ate it, it was pretty much guaranteed I was going to throw up. </span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">At times I wanted to peel off my nose. Oh, and let's not forget the back pains, and the aching pain in my breasts that took away all the fun of having gigantic boobs! And did I mentioned the lack of sex drive. And yet I read online that pregnancy made you hornier, but for me my sex meter was down to a big fat zero! I did not even want "that thing" close to me. Of course it goes without saying that I became very good at performing other things, if you know what I mean. Otherwise I would have had one pissed off boyfriend on my hands. </span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Now that I am in my second trimester,(month six) thank God, I am glad the torture is finally over. I am happy to report that I am starting to feel human again. I no longer throw up as much, instead I eat like a pig because I am hungry all the times. My bionic nose (as I like to call it) can still smell everything, but not to the extreme like before. The only thing that has not changed is the lack of sex drive. I still can't stand it! </span></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05301907148972348175noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3049862063430296281.post-15263677484005838952011-10-17T06:22:00.000-07:002012-11-20T20:12:31.513-08:00DAMAGED<div style="font: 14.0px 'American Typewriter'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">There is something to be said about a beautiful black man. Not only does he command attention, his mere presence make your heart skip a beat and your body temperature rise. He makes you think of naughty things you swore to your mamma you would never do and lie to your girlfriends about doing. Not to mention he will have you saying, "where have you been all of my life?" Indeed, you will be down on your knees thanking the Lord that you have finally found him. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">But let's be real, if all it took was a beautiful black man to satisfy all of our needs, I would be laying next to one right now instead of writing this piece. And trust me, contrary to what all the magazines will have you believe there are no shortage of black men or men in general. Because let's be honest, even though we hate to admit it a majority of them have major issues. Specifically, baby mama drama issues, (though,I despise the term) and crazy ex-girlfriend issues. Also unemployment issues, mama issues, lack of ambitions, and the inability to accept NO. And this is just to name a few. In other words, they are damaged goods. Personally, I feel they should be a warning tag attached to the ones with issues; something in the area of, "warning: damaged goods, take home at your own risk." In the same way when clothes are defective there is a warning tag that tells you it is damaged. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Certainly, I am not just saying that to make a point, in fact I have had first hand experience in the damage goods department. I remember it clearly as if it was yesterday. I met him on a bitter cold February day, just a few days before valentine day. The streets were flooded with "I Love You" balloons and every side walk was decorated with an influx of more than the usual flower carts. And as you can imagine being single, I was feeling the bitter more than the actual cold weather. My friend whom I have known for years, who was in a committed loving relationship thought she might try to fix me up with a guy she knew, (of course unbeknownst to me) called me on the phone right before five o'clock and asked me to come with her to get her watch fix. Having nothing to do after work, ( as usual) accept going home to my ungrateful children, (teenagers) I agreed to meet with her. We arrived at this dirty old building in the middle of the diamond district area, took this scary old elevator and got off on the tiniest floor where the jewelry shop was located. I don't know, but right there the red lights should have been flashing in front of me: Warning, warning, enter at your own risks. Despite that, all I was thinking at the time was, this is the diamond district, people make and spent money here. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">There he was, 5'8, maybe 180 lbs and build to last, and boy did he last. Fair skinned, brown eyes and nose that fit perfectly on his face. For anonymity I'll call him "Crown Royal," because that was his favorite liquor. Right there, I think I fell in love with "Crown Royal" and it showed in the way I was shamelessly flirting with him. After many attempts to invite him out to dinner with us indirectly, I reluctantly gave up. Undeterred I decided I would try to contact him through my friend later. After he finished fixing her watch we headed out to Havana restaurant, on 39th street between 5th and 6th avenue to eat. In between Cosmos and the best rice and beans in the city he was all I talked about. Finally I made my friend call him to give him my number but not before she interrogated him on what he thought of me. It was good enough for me when he told her I was cute and that he would definitely call me. A week after valentine day, he called. That should've been warning # 2 but I did not care because his voice was a symphony to my hears and I lost all my senses. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Soon after that, we had our first date, and I was swept off my feet by his charms and easy smiles. And our chemistry was on fire. Throwing all cautions to the wind, I fell hard. Before I knew it, we were talking about babies and moving in together. Eventually after several weeks of dating (by dating I really mean watching T.V. on the weekends, and drinking Crown Royal) he decided he was comfortable enough to ask me for a loan. Warning #3. Apparently, all his money went to his bitter ex-wife for child support, whom by the way, up until recently he was trying to reconciled with. Warning #4. Of course without hesitation, I gave him the loan because after all it was for a good cause. He explained, he needed to travel to Florida to expand his jewelry business. It turned out the first trip to Florida was not very successful, and as a result he needed to go back again. But not before he decided that things between us was moving too fast and therefore needed to slow down. Warning #5. The second trip to Florida was proving to be beneficial and as a result he needed to stay longer. By then, the phone calls were becoming less and less and my calls were being sent to voicemail more often than I care to admit. Warning #6. To make matters worse, when I did speak to him it became painfully clear that I was not clear on when he was coming back because he was very vague when asked. Needless to say, it was not long before I realized this was a bad romance and I needed to find the nearest exit out of this damaged good department. And as for the loan, well, let's just say I am not holding my breath. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">In spite all that, I did not give up, because I kept telling myself sooner or later one good one will rise to the occasion. Just keep an open mind and most importantly, an open heart. </span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05301907148972348175noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3049862063430296281.post-22714960441770338262011-10-05T10:33:00.000-07:002012-05-15T19:26:38.891-07:00RELATIONSHIP DYNAMIC 101<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Relationships are tough, and easy. Relationships are complex, and clear, but one thing it's not, it is not forever. Relationships come in all shapes and sizes, but it does not come with a manual. I am not pretentious, what you see is what you get; in fact, it bothers me that some people find it necessary to form fraudulent bonds they have no intention of keeping truthfully. I know humans are complex beings, hell, I am a complex being, but not to be unoriginal, "I keepsit real". When I was young__ like any other "selfish, it's all about me" teenager__ I believed no one understood me, but now that I am an adult I don't much care whether or not people understand me to a fault. For a long time because of my past relationship blunders I had trust issues, which made it difficult for me to bond with people. I did not believe you can give your best to a relationship and expect the same. Deeply afraid of being disappointed I questioned how much of myself I am willing to give to someone for better or worst. Eventually with time and experience I learn that everyone falls in love sometimes. Sometimes it's wrong and sometimes it's right, but there comes a time you will exhale.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Back in the days when I was young_and I am not young anymore, but which I was_I used to have the biggest crush on Michael Jackson. I used to daydream about being the mother of his children. In fact, now that I think about it I am inclined to believe that he was my first love. No lie. When I first saw his </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Thriller </span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">video which was released in the fall of 1982 from his solo album by the same name, I was both scared and excited at the same time. I remember pretending to be the girl in the video. I loved every song on that album from "Billie Jeans" to "Beat It." Naturally, the older I got the bigger my obsession with Michael grew and by the time I was a teenager I knew every song and watch every video that was ever released. Indeed, he dazzled me with his dance moves and kept me in an hypnotic trance with his swagger. No doubt, I thought he was the sexiest man alive. At that time I was a loyal fanatic, and despite the scandals (alleged child molestation) that plagued him my love for him was irrefragable. </span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Then one hot summer day in June of 2008 my world came to devastating halt. I couldn't hardly believe it when I heard it on the news that my beloved Michael had past away. I was overcome with grieve, pain and sorrow. I cried for days as I was inconsolable and in my desire to keep him alive I played his music nonstop. Eventually as time past and I came to term with his passing I realized dead or alive Michael still held a special place in my heart. And still do. </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/sOnqjkJTMaA" width="420"></iframe></span></span></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05301907148972348175noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3049862063430296281.post-59569501052809757372011-09-08T13:59:00.000-07:002011-09-08T14:26:45.241-07:00Be careful what you wish for, cause you just might get it!<div style="font: 14.0px 'Handwriting - Dakota'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font: 12.0px 'Handwriting - Dakota'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I am not one to complain, but just the other day I was actually thinking: Boy, I miss being single. I know some of you are thinking: What! But it's true. I miss being unattached to someone. I miss the freedom of not having someone look over my shoulders, tell me the shows I watch on TV sucks, ask me when I am coming to bed and thinks it's romantic to take my hand to touch "it" down there early in the morning while I am still asleep. And this may be cliche, but I especially miss not having to put the toilet seat down every time I go in the bathroom. Why do they always forget? Not even putting a sticking note in the bathroom where he can see it, helps. God forbid, I ask for some space I get the "What you talking about Willis?" look. But truth is, its all good. Though it's taking some getting used to, I am enjoying learning on the job and it is getting more and more interesting every day.</span></span></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05301907148972348175noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3049862063430296281.post-52190553935258828242011-07-16T09:14:00.000-07:002012-05-15T19:08:20.213-07:00YOU DESERVE<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">They say the older you get and still waiting for "the one," the shorter your "must have list" gets. And before long your "must have list" just has: "Please Lord, just let him have all his teeth". So as the years were rolling up and I was still waiting for "the one," instead of a "must have list," I made the "I deserve list." I decided the next time I was in a relationship worth investing my time in, I would be vocal on how I feel about me and what I believe I deserve in a relationship. Needless to say, having been in some not so good relationships most of us know what we deserve. You know from the last relationship when he did not call when he said he would, you deserved consideration and consistency. Somehow you knew when he was thirty minutes late from picking you up and the last time he called was thirty-five minutes ago to say he was on his way, you deserved a heart felt apology. And you knew when you charged that new outfit on the credit card you could not afford just to look good for him, you deserved head to toe compliments. After all is said and done, the heart of the matter is you deserve his respect and acceptance equally immense. You deserve flowers for no reason at all. And last but not least, more importantly you deserve to know he loves you to no bounds. My list is done; is yours? </span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05301907148972348175noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3049862063430296281.post-9204982771637995602011-05-24T11:42:00.000-07:002011-05-30T10:19:55.847-07:00KISSING FROGS...WAITING FOR PRINCE CHARMING<iframe width="425" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/ToDu6TuKI24" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br />
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Now that I am in my mid-thirties, I have to admit I am finally at a point in my life where I believe that I am smart, articulate and not to mention funny. I am finally comfortable telling people that yes, I am smart and can understand the complexity of things and dare I say life. The only down side to that I believe if there is one, you are program to look for complexities in things when there are none. For example, some time ago I was watching a rerun of the series "Sex and the City: The Big Time" episode 38 (2000), when one of the ladies articulately explained the simplicity of a man. Men, she said, when you meet one and for some reason he decides he is ready to settle down, it's not faith, but timing and just plain dumb luck. You should not take it that he is madly in love, but simply because he is available and his on-dury light is on at the time. Similar to a cab driver. And all the other times he was playing around was because his on-duty light was off and not ready to settle down. She explained, if you happened to be the one he pick up when his on-duty light is on, he will marry you. Needless to say I could not help it, I was surprised at the truthfulness and the simplicity of what she said. But the moral of the story I thought, was not the obvious and that is: Face it! You are going to be kissing some frogs in the meantime. But really that, when he finds you he is going to be at his best because he is already in the marry state of mind and pretty much going to do whatever you want him to do. Also because believe or not, his biological clock is ticking. Therefore he is ripe and ready for the taking. So if you have to kiss some frogs on the way to finding your Prince Charming, then so be it. And trust me, when you find him or rather when he finds you, I have a feeling it's going to be all the things that Heaven is made of. He is going to make you smile for no reason at all. In fact it's going to be okay that he may still look like a frog and not yet transformed into the prince you know he is inside. He is going to speak to your mind, but also keep your body heat on high. I am sure and I say that with all conviction, that nothing will compare to finding that someone who finally gets you; someone you can be yourself around: No pretense, no wondering about his intentions, because he's already made it clear. He is on-duty!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05301907148972348175noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3049862063430296281.post-29022854282593822642010-04-22T08:16:00.000-07:002011-07-14T13:38:21.909-07:00MALE FRIENDS: A Platonic Relationship??Once a week—every Thursdays—my friends and I dash out of work and head straight to the village for happy hour to our favorite spot for the best drinks EVER! Usually when we go there, we bring our favorite “People” magazine with us to talk trash about celebrities. It is always a blast when we go there—sometimes we end up in places we have no business being—it is almost guarantee that we get into an argument about this or that, but always too drunk to stay mad at each other. <br />
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So on one of those occasions, one of my friends mentioned that she has not seen her friend—a man—in a long time. Always inquisitive and analytical, I made a comment that I did not believe a man and a woman could be in a platonic relationship. Simple, I never met a single guy I wanted to be friends with and not want to f**k (excuse my French). My thing is—I have plenty of friends—I don’t see the purpose or the benefit of having a man friend. I want to talk trash about you with my girls, not with you. I am just saying. <br />
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I braced myself for the “oh K, you’re crazy” comment I always get whenever I make a comment that no one—only the people in my head—understands. Not surprisingly, my friends disagreed with me because they both have male friends. Right then, I remembered a joke Chris Rock once told about guys who are in platonic relationship with girls. He said, (I am paraphrasing) the only way a guy end up being in a platonic relationship with a girl is because he could not close the deal. Two reasons: One, the relationship either got to a point where the girl did not want to sleep with him or two, the relationship got all the way but the girl decides that it’s not worth sleeping with him and ruin a potential friendship. Chris explained: The guy who stays in a platonic relationship with a girl is the one who still thinks he has a chance to close the deal. (Ah!) <br />
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But here is the thing—though I don’t believe it’s possible to be just friends with a guy—I am not one hundred percent convince that it is totally impossible. I am open-minded. I am just saying. <br />
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http://youtu.be/q75jOnQB0BI<br />
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POWER OF THE WORD:<br />
It is imperative that a woman keep her sense of humor intact and at the ready. She must see, even if only in secret, that she is the funniest, looniest woman in her world, which she should also see as being the most absurd world of all times.<br />
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Wouldn’t Take Long for My Journey<br />
Now By: Maya AngelouAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05301907148972348175noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3049862063430296281.post-51291405726330131872009-11-03T11:18:00.001-08:002009-11-03T11:26:59.882-08:00THIRTY-SOMETHING AND SINGLEWho knew that being thirty-something and single would be such a challenge? Back in your twenties when you were staying up till five in the morning, who knew that in your thirties you wouldn’t be able to stay up past two A.M. Nevertheless, even with the stigma that goes with being thirty-something and single, there is an upside (yes an upside).<br /><br />I know it’s hard to image there is an upside to being thirty-something and single with all the magazines and television shows (especially reality shows) and their recipes on how to get a man, how to keep a man, where to find a man and the A to Z of dating. Not to mention, the non-stop commercials on on-line dating like match.com and chemistry.com. It’s perfectly understandable if you are thinking that I am out of my mind, but believe me, the upside of being single is this really great opportunity to re-discover YOU. Don’t get me wrong, no one chooses to be single, but if you find yourself single, there are probably good reasons why you are. I believe instead of feeling bad and rushing to find that perfect mate, (by the way, no one is perfect) you should be taking the opportunity to work on YOU. Think of this time as the “Self Discovery” phase of being single. <br /><br />I think during this time, you may discover the answers to a few questions: How sensitive is your bullshit meter? And, what is your level of tolerance for inconsistencies? Believe me, it’s a sheer pleasure when you discover that, yes, you are in complete control. Quality is more important than quantity. Having standards is perfectly acceptable and asking relevant questions on dates is also acceptable. And if the answer to the question: what are you looking for in a relationship is “I just want to have fun,” then you know it’s time to delete this person’s contact from your phone, Face book, or whatever you are using these days if that is not what you are looking for. Empower You.<br /><br /><br /><br />EMPOWERED WORDS:<br />Each of us has the right and the responsibility to assess the roads which lie ahead, and those over which we have traveled, and if the future road looms ominous or unpromising, and the roads back uninviting, then we need to gather our resolve and carrying only the necessary baggage, step off that road into another direction. If the new choice is also unpalatable, without embarrassment, we must be ready to change that as well.<br /><br />Maya AngelouAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05301907148972348175noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3049862063430296281.post-10204457864672032372009-09-28T08:24:00.000-07:002009-09-28T20:59:57.062-07:00THE NINETY-DAY RULE<span style="font-family:georgia;">For those of you who are not familiar with the Ninety-Day rule, it is basically how long a woman should wait before sleeping with the man she is dating. According to Steve Harvey's book <strong>Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man,</strong> waiting ninety-days before sleeping with a man is a sure way to guarantee the relationship will last beyond ninety-days. Apparently, this rule is a way to get the respect you deserve from the man you are seeing.</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">In the book, Steve Harvey explained: In the same way a new employee has to wait for a ninety-day probation period before getting company benefits, you should also have a ninety-day probation period before giving up your benefits to a man. The benefits being your "cookies" or the "good good." That way if things do not work out you will have no regrets. Makes sense, right? But really, how realistic is this rule? And does it really matter whether or not you wait ninety-days before sleeping with a man? My answer to that last question is a big fat NO!</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">OK, while I understand the importance of getting to know someone before sleeping with him, I also feel it is equally important to know whether or not we are sexually compatible. In my opinion, ninety-days is a long time to spend getting to know someone just to find out at the end that one, he has none of the skills he bragged about (you know how some men like to brag). Two, he does not know the first thing about foreplay and three, he is one of those who arrive at the destination before you even get in the car. So, I believe, the sooner I know these things the better it is for me to make a decision on whether or not I want to take the relationship any further. Besides, men do it why not me (us).</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">But let’s be serious, the truth is there are different reasons why women and men sleep together be it before or after ninety-days. I don't think it makes a difference when we do it, because if the relationship is meant to work out, it will and if it is not meant to work out, it won’t. The main thing is, learn from your prior experiences, pay attention to the red lights (also known as your intuition) that goes off in your head as a warning when someone is wrong for you and you will have no regrets if you let him go early. And that's my motto.<br /><br />This is something to talk about...</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05301907148972348175noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3049862063430296281.post-84736746428287975362009-09-11T07:50:00.000-07:002009-09-11T08:41:57.691-07:00IS COURTSHIP DEAD?The question is courtship dead is something I have been pondering for awhile now. And so I decided to ask around to see what the consensus was. What I found was astounding to say the least. One of my girlfriends said if (emphasis on IF) courtship is dead it could only be because we (us…girls) killed it just like we killed chivalry. To prove her point she found a video on YouTube from Dave <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">chapelle's</span></span> comedy routine “Chivalry Is Dead”. Check it out, it’s hilarious!<br /><br />Of course I was shock when I watch the video, but I can’t front, some of the things Dave said actually made sense. This only proves to me this is precisely why now a day most man would rather skip the whole courtship thing and go straight to the relationship. Later when the relationship <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">does not</span> work out, one of you (mostly us…yes you!) is left to wonder why. I believe this may have a lot to do with what we stop doing during the beginning of a relationship and that is to make him properly court us. Make him wine and dine us for as long as it takes. Most of us (and I am guilty of it too) are so happy to finally be in a relationship we forget or neglect to make him work for it. And I am not the only one who feels that way. For those of you who are reading this and raising an eyebrow, you should get a copy of Steve Harvey’s book, <strong>Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man</strong>. It’s all in the book ladies; I am not making this up. I have six words for you “let a man be a man!”<br /><br />Now I am not an expert, but I figure if a man has some home training he should at least know how to court the object of his affection (us) and know what’s expected of him on a first, second, third and fourth date and so on and so on… Simple things like opening a car door or pulling out a chair, some basic skills a man should have. If he <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">does no</span>t have these basic skills then (I hate to say it, ladies) you need to trained him. And YES, a man can be trained.<br /><br /><br />So yes, I have come to the conclusion that courting a woman is dead. I don’t know about you, but I want more than just a drink. I will take dinner and a movie and no expectations afterwards any day. If I can find it! <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Lol</span></span>! I mean, really!<br /><br />AND this is something to talk about…let me hear your thoughts.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymNdfdQvdVc">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymNdfdQvdVc</a>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05301907148972348175noreply@blogger.com