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Tuesday, November 3, 2009

THIRTY-SOMETHING AND SINGLE

Who knew that being thirty-something and single would be such a challenge? Back in your twenties when you were staying up till five in the morning, who knew that in your thirties you wouldn’t be able to stay up past two A.M. Nevertheless, even with the stigma that goes with being thirty-something and single, there is an upside (yes an upside).

I know it’s hard to image there is an upside to being thirty-something and single with all the magazines and television shows (especially reality shows) and their recipes on how to get a man, how to keep a man, where to find a man and the A to Z of dating. Not to mention, the non-stop commercials on on-line dating like match.com and chemistry.com. It’s perfectly understandable if you are thinking that I am out of my mind, but believe me, the upside of being single is this really great opportunity to re-discover YOU. Don’t get me wrong, no one chooses to be single, but if you find yourself single, there are probably good reasons why you are. I believe instead of feeling bad and rushing to find that perfect mate, (by the way, no one is perfect) you should be taking the opportunity to work on YOU. Think of this time as the “Self Discovery” phase of being single.

I think during this time, you may discover the answers to a few questions: How sensitive is your bullshit meter? And, what is your level of tolerance for inconsistencies? Believe me, it’s a sheer pleasure when you discover that, yes, you are in complete control. Quality is more important than quantity. Having standards is perfectly acceptable and asking relevant questions on dates is also acceptable. And if the answer to the question: what are you looking for in a relationship is “I just want to have fun,” then you know it’s time to delete this person’s contact from your phone, Face book, or whatever you are using these days if that is not what you are looking for. Empower You.



EMPOWERED WORDS:
Each of us has the right and the responsibility to assess the roads which lie ahead, and those over which we have traveled, and if the future road looms ominous or unpromising, and the roads back uninviting, then we need to gather our resolve and carrying only the necessary baggage, step off that road into another direction. If the new choice is also unpalatable, without embarrassment, we must be ready to change that as well.

Maya Angelou

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THIRTY-SOMETHING AND SINGLE

Who knew that being thirty-something and single would be such a challenge? Back in your twenties when you were staying up till five in the morning, who knew that in your thirties you wouldn’t be able to stay up past two A.M. Nevertheless, even with the stigma that goes with being thirty-something and single, there is an upside (yes an upside).

I know it’s hard to image there is an upside to being thirty-something and single with all the magazines and television shows (especially reality shows) and their recipes on how to get a man, how to keep a man, where to find a man and the A to Z of dating. Not to mention, the non-stop commercials on on-line dating like match.com and chemistry.com. It’s perfectly understandable if you are thinking that I am out of my mind, but believe me, the upside of being single is this really great opportunity to re-discover YOU. Don’t get me wrong, no one chooses to be single, but if you find yourself single, there are probably good reasons why you are. I believe instead of feeling bad and rushing to find that perfect mate, (by the way, no one is perfect) you should be taking the opportunity to work on YOU. Think of this time as the “Self Discovery” phase of being single.

I think during this time, you may discover the answers to a few questions: How sensitive is your bullshit meter? And, what is your level of tolerance for inconsistencies? Believe me, it’s a sheer pleasure when you discover that, yes, you are in complete control. Quality is more important than quantity. Having standards is perfectly acceptable and asking relevant questions on dates is also acceptable. And if the answer to the question: what are you looking for in a relationship is “I just want to have fun,” then you know it’s time to delete this person’s contact from your phone, Face book, or whatever you are using these days if that is not what you are looking for. Empower You.



EMPOWERED WORDS:
Each of us has the right and the responsibility to assess the roads which lie ahead, and those over which we have traveled, and if the future road looms ominous or unpromising, and the roads back uninviting, then we need to gather our resolve and carrying only the necessary baggage, step off that road into another direction. If the new choice is also unpalatable, without embarrassment, we must be ready to change that as well.

Maya Angelou